My Experiences & Thoughts

Location: Southwest Kansas, United States

Healthy, fit, trim, 5'8", blue eyes, brown hair, gay, single, successful, forward looking & thinking.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Submissive's lame explaination

My supposedly dedicated submissive "Aaron" contacted me just now & told me that he had changed his profile because he thought I would understand he could not meet me since I said I would understand if he so decided. Well, I would have understood IF he would have contacted me, HIMSELF, & told me his decision, NOT by changing his post & letting me find out on my own. I was this man's friend, I allowed myself to care for him & worry about his guilty feelings. He repaid me by not telling me in an e-mail or site message, directly to me, of his decision that he could not meet me.

Aaron, I would have understood. I would have gladly supported your decision. I would have even offered to remain your friend, to be there for you if you ever needed to talk to someone about your feelings. But instead, you chose to treat me like a piece of meat you found on a net sex site (& I must add here that he has changed his profile to include new sexual fantasies for his new "game" he's now hunting for. What happend to the guilty feelings of cheating on your wife, Aaron? I guess having one-nighters or quicky blowjobs with people who couldn't care less about you isn't cheating, right?!). Well, like I told you in my last e-mail, I hold no ill will towards you. I just never wish to hear from you again. I've asked SW/AFF to remove you from my Friend Network & have blocked you from ever contacting me. You have proved yourself NOT a friend. Friends do not treat other friends like this. So, enjoy your life, Aaron. Someday you will need a friend like me, one who really cared about you, worried about you, one who was willing to give up our possible sexual relationship to make sure you & your marriage wasn't hurt inspite of my desire for you. I hope you will remember what you have thrown away by treating me like you have. I also hope by that time you have "wised up" & changed how you communicate with & treat others because if not, you're going to be a very lonely man.

Supposed "Submissive" actually a pathetic game player!

Blog Readers:

Over the past 4 months, I've been involved on-line on this site & the SwapFinder/AdultFriendFinder site with a man, Aaron, who professed to be a "submissive male looking for a dominated male". He has lead me on & totally "sucked me in" over this time leading me to believe he couldn't wait for us to meet. Now that it is a week away from meeting me, he has sent me a message that stated he was "feeling exceptionally guilty about cheating on his wife, that he made love to her the night before & about cried over it." He then asked me what my feeling were about his feeling of guilt. Well, feeling that he was in real pain, I told him that I would never ask him to do anything to hurt his wife or his marriage because even though I was his dominator, I felt that I was his friend. I even stated that if he decided that he couldn't meet me, that I would understand.

Since he asked me what my feelings on his situation, I then told him that I thought he was having issues with his sexuality vs. his committment with his wife & that he needed to think about them, that if he felt so strongly that if we met he'd be cheating on his wife, he should consider the fact that his "on-line sex & searching for sex" was also cheating on his wife. But I also told him that if he wanted to meet, I would never allow anyone to find out, that he was my friend & that if he was eventually going to be with a man (which he would someday because his sexual feelings for men would NOT go away just because he felt guilty), that maybe he should go ahead & meet me, a friend, someone who truly cared about him.

I sent the message to him & decided to give him some time to think about everything. Today, I decided to send him a short message experessing my concern for him (because I truly feel for any man who is having sexuality & guilt issues). BUT when I got to his profile page, I found he had changed his profile away from his dedication to me as my submissive AND had both of our blogs frozen (probably to have SF/AFF eliminate our blogs about each other, maybe even to get me into trouble with the site). Fortunately, I have a copy of what I sent to this man & will sent it to SW/AFF, this site, or whoever needs it to prove that I did not do anything wrong . . . OTHER THAN DEVELOPE A TRUE FRIENDSHIP & CONCERN FOR THIS MAN. Actually, thinking about it, this is exactly the kind of action a man takes who has SERIOUS sexuality issues - a fear of getting close to another man - other than a quickie suck off or fuck.

The mistake I made, I now know, is that I let myself be "taken in" by a REAL manipulator, a fake, a phoney, a real game player. I should have know this when he caused our "communications problem" a couple of weeks ago (see my other blog posts AND this guy's comments). I know now he was just using me for his sick jollies, using his "supposed guilt for cheating on his wife" as a way of meeting me (he probably never really had any desire to meet me).

Well, Aaron, you now have your way. I will no longer bother you, contact you, have any interest in you from this point on. Again, I find that you are a manipulator, a fake, a phony, a real game player. Too bad this site (& others) don't have a warning system for people like you. You lead people on, make them want to meet you, even care for you, then use them for your own twisted pleasure of stringing them along. I think you are a sick man. But I know that others will eventually find out about you as well & not bother with you. The last thing I'm going to say to you here just like on the SW/AFF website is "have a good life". You'll never hear from me again. And that's too bad. SOMEDAY you'll wish you had a friend like me who ACTUALLY cares about you. CARED about you I should say. I wish you no ill will. I just hope you'll get the help you obviously need.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Dominant finally hears from wayward Submissive

It seems that my wayward submissive has not been the "bad boy" that I thought him to be. He has not been out "catting around for dicks to fill his holes", he has not been ignoring me, he has not been an unfaithful submissive. He is still (& even MORE than ever) the "special" submissive I figured him to be. He has even reaffirmed his submission to me, offering himself up to me completely, telling me he cannot wait to kneel before me, to lay himself out before me for me to use anyway I want, to be mine in whatever way I want him, for me to dominate him totally, completely. I was most pleased with Aaron's contact today.

Now . . . what he HAS been is FOOLISH . . . he has been (how can I put this) "using a less than reliable computer access for his portable laptop" to try to keep in touch with me during the day at work. Because of this, many of his messages (through regular e-mail & the SwapFinder/AdultFriendFinder website) were lost by this "alternative" form of access. We have finally been able to connect, sort of (mostly through the
SwapFinder/AdultFriendFinder that has AGAIN been having trouble, like it frequently does!!!) because he has not been on his own computer with his own computer access. I have "pointed out the error of his ways" to him, told him to settle down (he tried in a panic to message me 23 times this afternoon), & then contact me again in a more secure way. It now looks like all will be okay with our "situaltion" & our "special relationship" is back on track (unless this all happens again, which it won't . . . WILL IT AARON?!). Time will tell. If anything of interest develops, I may decide to post it here & on the other site on which Aaron & I met. And I trust I will hear from Aaron - ON HIS OWN COMPUTER WITH HIS OWN WEB ACCESS - VERY SOON . . . because I have PLANS for him!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

For the past 4 to 6 weeks, I've been communicating with a man from Metro Denver who I met on another website. He seemed to be a perfect match for me. I'm a dominant male who has been searching for just the right submissive male to not only take care of my needs but also to build a man-toy fuck-buddy realtionship with for the long term. Throughout our e-mails, he has responded better than any other submissive I've found. Even his attitude was almost perfect. To make this man an even better candidate, in his "real life" he is a bi-sexual, married "alpha-male" police officer who just so happens has a desire to be totally dominated by another male. He vowed is submission to me numerous times. He even stated to me (& on this blog in his "fantasy" about our upcoming first meeting) that I have dominated him like no other man has, that he has been sexually aroused more by me & my e-mails than any other man, & has promised that he & his body is mine to do with what I want. BUT . . . I now doubt this man. It seems that while I was busy with work over the past two weeks, he has stopped contacting me & has started looking for one-time tricks to fill his mouth & ass with quicky, cheap sex INSTEAD of using this time to keep in contact with me as he vowed to me that he would. He has also ignored two of my e-mails of the past couple of days demanding that he explain himself & his actions. But I have heard nothing from him. Supposedly he is busy on the weekends with his family. But the first of my recent e-mails was on a day he is supposedly free to contact me. As a dominate, I take serious insult to this kind of neglect from my submissive. And this is not the first time he has defied me, it is the third (& the worst). Unlike most dominants, I have decided to give "Officer Aaron" one more chance, JUST ONE, to contact me ASAP to explain himself & his actions. BUT so far I have not heard from him. He has also stated on this site on comments to another post of mine that he can access this site at work when he cannot access his own e-mail anywhere else. So, Aaron, this is a wakeup call for you. You are in serious danger of losing the best thing that could ever happen to you. You need to check your personal e-mail AND/OR the message I sent you on the site on which we met, read my last two e-mails (especially the last one) & contact me NOW! Even if you have to sneak out of you house or out of work to be able to contact me to explain to me what is going on.

For those of you who are reading this & wonder what will happen, I will post again next weekend to let you know if this man is truly "the special man" I thought he was OR if he is a fake who deserves to be exposed to anyone else that he may try to lead on.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

First Post

This is my first post for this blog. Another blog member I hope to soon meet in person directed it to me. I'll be using it to post my experiences & thoughts, interests & discoveries. Hopefully, I'll meet new people to share with & learn from.